Part 2: Relax, Bro

Part 2: Relax, Bro

Brosgaeus had never been called "honey" by someone who sounded like warm tea and freshly folded blankets.

It hit him like a kettlebell to the soul.

Jeff drove.

Neva sat in the passenger seat, arms folded, eyeing the dashboard with deep suspicion.

Luna spoke again, her voice as gentle as a breeze.

"So..."

"Could someone catch me up?"

"The last thing I remember, I picked up a dumbbell..."

"...and now I'm clipped to your air vent."

Jeff explained the curse.

The dumbbell.

The transformations.

Neva added several legal disclaimers.

Brosgaeus mostly flexed in the rearview mirror.

When they finished...

Luna smiled.

"Wow."

"That's... a lot."

"I'm really proud of all of you."

Brosgaeus nearly dislocated his neck doing a double take.

"...Proud?"

"...Of me?"

His voice cracked like a teenager ordering coffee for the first time.

"Of all of you," Luna said cheerfully.

"Surviving a curse takes teamwork."

"And emotional flexibility."

Neva sighed.

"Oh great."

"A self-help mount."

"Hey," Brosgaeus protested.

"Self-help helped me become a better lifter."

"You read one book about vulnerability," Neva replied.

"You folded the pages to look intelligent."

Luna giggled.

A tiny, delighted laugh.

The kind that somehow made Brosgaeus' entire macho persona melt like a marshmallow in a microwave.

---

The Next Day: Brosgaeus vs. Inner Peace

Naturally...

They brought Luna to the gym.

Mostly because she'd asked politely.

And nobody had the emotional strength to tell her no.

Jeff and Neva started their workout.

Meanwhile...

Brosgaeus positioned Luna on a small Bluetooth speaker beside the squat rack.

"Alright, big guy," Luna said.

"Show me your warm-up."

Brosgaeus confidently loaded enough weight onto the bar to concern several nearby witnesses.

Luna emitted a tiny electronic gasp.

"Oh my stars!"

"No!"

"That's not a warm-up."

"That's a lawsuit."

Brosgaeus looked offended.

"Please."

"This is my minimum."

"No."

"Minimum is water."

"Sunlight."

"And self-respect."

"You're missing at least one."

He frowned.

"...Which one?"

Luna smiled.

"All of them."

Brosgaeus gasped.

"What?!"

"I get sunlight!"

"...Sometimes."

She ignored the protest.

"I think we should try something different."

"...Breathing."

Brosgaeus blinked.

"...Breathing?"

He said the word like she'd suggested eating drywall.

"Yes."

"Breathe in through your nose..."

"...and out through your ego."

Even Neva laughed.

Brosgaeus rolled his eyes.

"...Fine."

He inhaled.

Slowly.

Deeply.

He exhaled.

His shoulders relaxed.

He blinked.

Then...

He started crying.

Not dignified tears.

Not a single emotional tear rolling down one cheek.

No.

Full-body sobbing.

Like he'd watched the opening of a Pixar movie while chopping onions.

Jeff rushed over.

"Bro?!"

"You alright?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

Brosgaeus wailed.

"She told me to breathe and now my feelings are..."

"...like..."

"...IN MY CHEST!"

Luna spoke softly.

"Oh, sweetheart."

"Those are emotions."

"They've been living in your traps and delts for years."

"You finally gave them some fresh air."

Brosgaeus sniffled.

"...My emotions..."

"...were in my shoulders?"

"You've been flexing your trauma."

Silence.

Then Neva slowly clapped.

"Fantastic."

"The protein shake achieved enlightenment."

---

Afternoon Car Ride: A Different Kind of Pump

The drive home was unusually quiet.

Brosgaeus sat in the backseat.

Eyes puffy.

Protein shake untouched.

A tragedy by Brosgaeus standards.

Luna hummed quietly through the speakers.

"You did really well today."

He looked up.

"I did?"

"You faced something scary."

"Your own heart."

"That takes courage."

Brosgaeus sat a little straighter.

"...Really?"

"Oh yes."

"Most people spend their whole lives avoiding vulnerability."

"You walked straight into it..."

"...like it was a squat rack."

He smiled weakly.

"...Squat racks are my comfort zone."

"I know."

"And..."

"I hope one day..."

"...I can become one too."

Brosgaeus froze.

Jeff nearly drifted into the next lane.

Neva spun around.

"...Did you just flirt with him?"

Luna giggled.

"I meant emotionally."

A tiny pause.

"...But..."

"He does have very pretty eyes."

Brosgaeus malfunctioned.

"...My..."

"...Eyes?"

"...Pretty?"

"No one's ever said that."

"...Well..."

"My mom."

"...The mirrors."

"...One guy in high school..."

"...but he was kind of mean."

Neva buried her face in her hands.

"Oh no."

"He's buffering."

Luna smiled.

Kind.

Patient.

Completely genuine.

"You don't have to be the strongest person in every room, Brosgaeus."

"Sometimes..."

"The strongest thing you can do..."

"...is let someone see the gentle parts of you."

Brosgaeus swallowed.

Hard enough that everyone heard it.

"...Luna."

"Why are you so..."

"...nice?"

She answered without hesitation.

"Because kindness builds people."

"Arrogance only builds walls."

Brosgaeus looked quietly at the little charging mount resting on the dashboard.

For the first time in his entire life...

He believed her.

---

To be continued...