Mounting Love: The Dumbbell Strikes Again. Part 1: Ice Queen, Wireless Rage

Mounting Love: The Dumbbell Strikes Again

Part 1: Ice Queen, Wireless Rage

It was leg day.

Jeff didn't want to be there.

Brosgaeus—now happily back in human form and wearing a gym tank that proudly declared GLUTES BEFORE DUDES—was not accepting excuses.

"You said you wanted confidence, Jeff," Brosgaeus said, dramatically tightening his lifting gloves.

"Confidence starts in the quads."

Jeff stared at the squat rack like it was a haunted house.

"...I'm pretty sure confidence starts somewhere that doesn't hurt this much."

"It does not."

"It starts in the quads."

Across the gym, however, an entirely different storm was brewing.

Neva had arrived.

She walked with the calm confidence of someone who entered every room assuming everyone else had already made several mistakes.

Her ponytail was perfectly tied.

Her workout playlist was organized by beats per minute.

She alphabetized her protein powder.

And she had absolutely no patience for incompetence.

Which meant...

She had almost no patience for people.

She scanned the gym with visible disappointment.

"That machine isn't adjusted correctly."

"His knees are caving in."

"That cable attachment belongs on the other station."

She sighed.

"I could design a better workout in my sleep."

As she walked past the free weights, something caught her eye.

A lone dumbbell.

Its metal shimmered strangely.

Etched into the handle was a tiny lightning bolt.

It emitted the faintest electric hum.

"...That's odd."

She picked it up.

Immediately, the air around her began to shimmer.

Neva frowned.

"...No."

The humming grew louder.

"...No."

A flash of light surrounded her.

"...No, no, NO—!"

POOF!

A burst of light.

A cloud of gym chalk.

Then...

Nothing.

---

A few minutes later...

Brosgaeus returned from the water fountain carrying two protein shakes.

"Yo, Jeff."

"Look what somebody left by the squat rack."

He held up a sleek wireless charging phone mount.

Jeff blinked.

"...Dude."

"No way."

"That looks exactly like the thing you got turned into."

Brosgaeus studied it.

"...Huh."

"It does."

He turned it over.

"Sleeker."

"More modern."

"...Somehow angrier."

Jeff looked concerned.

"You don't think..."

Brosgaeus grinned.

"Oh."

"I absolutely think."

He opened the car door.

"Let's plug her in."

---

The phone clicked into place.

The dashboard lit up.

The speakers crackled.

Then—

"WHO TOUCHED THE MOUNT?!"

Jeff screamed.

His hand slammed the steering wheel.

HONK!

"WHO DARES DISTURB MY—"

The voice paused.

"...Where am I?"

Brosgaeus slowly smiled.

"...Yep."

Jeff looked over.

"You know that smile worries me."

Brosgaeus folded his arms proudly.

"Classic cursed gym equipment."

The speakers exploded again.

"WHAT DID YOU IDIOTS DO TO ME?!"

Jeff froze.

"...Was that the phone?"

"Yes."

"...Is the phone yelling at us?"

"Also yes."

Neva's voice thundered through every speaker in the car.

"WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!"

Jeff looked at Brosgaeus.

"...Is it too late to return her?"

---

To be continued...